Today I made the correlation between the dating world and the movie gremlins. It's a great analogy. Everyone remembers the rules of the gremlin movie correct? Let's recap for the unhip.
Rule 1: Avoid Bright Light.
Rule 2: Don't get them Wet.
Rule 3: Never feed them after midnight.
Three simple rules and, of course, they are broken for one reason or another with disastorous consequences. So you ask...how does this relate to dating? Easy.
Everyone has thier own rules about dating. They might be soft rules like I don't date cowboys, I don't date muscians or I don't want to date somebody who listens to Dave Matthews band. Let's use that. Your "I don't date somebody who listens to Dave Matthews" is your avoid bright light. If you happened to come home one day and find your significant other bopping along to a DMB song on the radio it probally wouldn't kill the entire idea of you being interested in them, but it would hurt a little. As long they didn't buy the discography you'll be alright. It just stings. Relationship status: Wary.
The second rule is a more serious rule. It has longer repurcussions. In the movie if the cute little mogwai gets wet he multiplies. The offshots of the original good intentioned mogwai are bad seeds. They resemble the original slightly but are askew. They cause infinite problems and make you break other rules. This rule in the dating world is...I don't know....let's use trust issues. If you betray yourself or your other's trust you've broken rule 2. You have mulitplied the seeds of discontent. How many people in this world finally open themselves up to somebody and get completely betrayed? A helluva alot. Who can say they haven't been hurt? Can anybody? If you can you have never been hurt then you are a liar or have taken zero chances in your life. I advise that you start living. Getting hurt doesn't kill you. Killing kills you. Murderers kill you. Just don't date a murderer and you'll recover. Stop being dramatic. It's life. People get hurt and misled every day . The resulting issues of this broken trust breaks apart an originally good idea and feeling that leaves shards of bad intentions. Relationship status: doomed.
Rule 3 is very serious. If you feed them after midnight they turn into ghastly monsters that wreck and destroy everything. They drink and carry on in the streets. They kill little old ladies who can't walk up stairs. They make Phoebe Cates go over horrible memories about her dad's death. Bad dudes. The dating scene is no different. All of the little offshoot pieces you have caused by a slight trust issue or whatever have caused infinite more problems. Small problems cause big problems. The small argument your parents had about the alarm clock leads to daddy banging the office secretary. Your daddy banging the office secretary (or insert other henious act...theres just too many collosal screw ups a relationship can endure...just pick one) is breaking rule 3. Breaking that major rule leads to the eventual demise of your cute little thing you liked so much. Relationship status: Over.
So yeah. All this is a stretch. My arms are tired from reaching for meaning. The point is at the end of the movie the chinese man looks at the well intentioned Billy and says solemnly "You are not ready. Maybe someday you will be ready and when that day comes mogwai will be waiting." There sure are people who aren't ready to date. I've seen them browsing the clearance bins at hastings. Hell even people I consider friends I want to go up to them, put thier love interest in a box and say "You are not ready." They truly are not. They have broken too many simple rules and have caused a snowball of problems that keeps coming up bigger badder with each relationship. Will they be ready someday? I hope so. When they are it will be waiting for them. I hope they know that.
If all else fails they can violently burn their love and watch the gooey carcass breathe it's last breath. That could be fun too.
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